Self-Denial
Tuesday March 21, 2006
David Wilson

I woke up yesterday and I had someone on my mind. All throughout the day I couldn’t think of anything but this person. I got out of bed, and I thought about this person. I sat in class for hours thinking about this person. I ate in the Caf while thinking about this person. Finally, when I laid my head on my pillow last night, I was still thinking about this person. By now you may be wondering who it was that I was thinking about. Some of you might be guessing that the person is a dear friend of mine or a close family member. Still, some of you may be thinking that the person is God, especially since this morning is a worship service. And, some of you that know me might guess that I was thinking about my girlfriend. All of these guesses are good, but they are not true. I woke up yesterday thinking about myself. And, I’ve noticed that yesterday is not much different than any other day. I have also noticed that my self absorption/obsession is not that different from every other person.

In the Gospels, Jesus speaks out about this issue of self absorption. In Matthew 22:37, Jesus explains the two greatest commandments. First, you should love God with all your heart, soul, and mind. The second most important commandment is that you should love your neighbor as yourself. I know that many of you have heard these two commandments over and over, especially if you came to Common Ground last semester. However, there are two very important things we need to understand here before we go any further.

1. First, the only mention of self is in the second command when Jesus says to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus did not have to command us to love ourselves. This was a given. He knew that we would naturally love ourselves.
2. Second, Jesus knew that the only way to live a life worth living was to focus on God and people, not ourselves.

This focus on self, which I have been talking about, is called the Great Sin by C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity. Lewis claims that this Great Sin is pride or self-conceit. However, it does not matter whether we call it self-absorption, pride, selfishness, conceit, or self-focus. What matters is that we understand we are putting ourselves and our own desires above those of God and others. I am not saying that loving yourself or thinking about yourself is a sin. What I am saying is that we sometimes focus so much on ourselves that we don’t care about or show care to God or others. We become too concerned about our own glory and our own well-being.

In the book of Mark, Jesus speaks about this very issue. He is speaking to the crowd of people and to his disciples. He says, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.” Jesus calls for self-denial in this verse. Self denial is the solution to our self absorption.

You may be asking, “But what is self-denial?” First, let me explain what I do not mean by the term self-denial.

• Self-denial is not self-hatred
• It is not a rejection of our individuality
• It is not the loss of our identity
• And, it is not the belief that we have no worth.

Now, I will explain what self-denial does mean.

• SD is simply a way of coming to understand that we do not have to have our own way. Our happiness is not dependent upon getting what we want
• SD means the freedom to give way to others and to hold their interests above ours
• SD declares that we are of infinite worth and shows us how to realize it
• SD also saves us from self-indulgence

It may be better understood through the words of Thomas Kempis, who said, “To have no opinion of ourselves, and to think always well and highly of others, is great wisdom and perfection.

Clearly, when we speak of self-denial, Jesus provides the perfect example. We see from the words and actions of Jesus that he clearly cared for others more than himself. We believe that he died on the cross, not because he wanted to, but for the sins and salvation of the whole world.

Last week, over Spring Break, I went on a mission trip to Brazil with 23 other individuals from the College. We spent a week in a city called Garca working at an orphanage there. There were over a hundred children there ranging from babies all the way up to high school students.

Even though I cannot speak Portuguese, I was able to get close to a young boy named Victor. Victor was about 5 or six, I guess, and came up a little past my waist. I spent quite a bit of time with Victor and he would often cling to my side. I witnessed first-hand Victor’s self-denial several times throughout the week. First of all, the children there love to fly kites. While we were there, there was a constant breeze blowing, which made it perfect weather to fly kites. Well, evidently, Victor was quite proficient at flying kites. So, the other children would bring their kites to him so that he could get them into the air. He would somehow, I still haven’t figured it out, get the kite into the air until it caught some wind. Then, he would hand the kite over to its owner. That is self-denial.

One night, I was sitting in church with Victor next to me. I reached around to scratch my back because I had an itch. Before I knew it and without asking, Victor reached over and started scratching the spot where I had just scratched. Five minutes later, Victor was still scratching. Luckily, I had seen several stop signs and knew the word for stop. I finally got Victor to stop, right before he had scratched a hole in my shirt. The important thing to realize is that Victor cared enough about me, even after a couple days of meeting me, to put my needs first and to serve me. That is self-denial.

Another time, we were sitting at the breakfast table together. The boy next to me was pouring me some drink and in doing so spilled some drink on my knife. Victor reached over, grabbed my wet knife, and gave me his. He did it instantaneously and didn’t even have to think about it. That is self denial.

The next morning I came into the dining area and sat down at a table. I looked over at the bench next to me and saw some liquid in the seat. Torey Merrick, who was also on the trip, came over to sit at my table. She was just about to sit down when she was stopped by a young boy pointing to the liquid. Then, the boy takes off his shirt, wipes up the liquid, and then puts his shirt back on. hat is self denial.

On the very last morning of our stay at the orphanage, I wanted to give Victor something. And as I thought about it, I didn’t know what to give him. All my books were in English and my clothes would have swallowed him whole. So, I considered giving him my watch. But I didn’t want to give it up. It was my watch. The same watch that I had worn for years. And, I realize that this sounds similar to a scene from Lord of the Rings, but this is how I felt. And then I thought, if I give it to him, then that will make me look good. So, that people would say, “Look, David gave away his watch!” I am not saying all this so that I can build myself up. I am saying these things because they help show exactly how self absorbed, selfish and prideful I am. I needed self-denial at that point. I finally overcame these self-centered thoughts and gave my watch to Victor. When I did, I had a sense of freedom and love rush over me. I cannot explain the look on Victor’s face when I gave him that watch. I will never forget it. I had experienced self-denial.

How many times a day do you think about yourself instead of others?

Today, I challenge you to pay attention to your thoughts and focus.

Focus on God

Focus on Others

Jesus said, “Deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow me.