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Three presidential candidates chosen

Board of Trustees narrows the search for our next president.

Back Page Editor

The Georgetonian/ANDY WARHOL All three candidates have their game faces on.

The Georgetonian/ANDY WARHOL
All three candidates have their game faces on.

4002fae2e65d57bdc33cf21c97631e69_large Since Dr. Crouch announced his decision to retire at the end of the school year, the students of Georgetown have mused who will be chosen as GC’s next president. Although Georgetown College is generally extremely transparent when it comes to sharing information with students regarding issues that are affecting the institution, for whatever reason, the Board of Trustees and Presidential Search Committee have remained tight-lipped about the potential presidential candidates until now. Earlier this week the Board of Trustees announced grumpy catthe three candidates seeking the position of president at Georgetown College. The YouTube sensations Honey Badger and Grumpy Cat are both being considered for the position along with the TLC celebrity, Honey Boo Boo. Each candidate has specific hopes for Georgetown if they obtain the position.

Honey Badger believes that Georgetown College will succeed if he is chosen as the college’s next president. When asked what made him a good fit for the GC community, Honey Badger merely stated, “What can I say? I take what I want.” After further elaboration, Honey Badger claimed that he will do whatever it takes (with the inclusion of potentially dabbling into illegal activities) to ensure Georgetown’s success. Honey Badger remains indifferent to the societal construction of law and order. He explained, “As a member of the animal kingdom, I am experienced with the concept of survival of the fittest, and as far as I am concerned, GC must take what it wants in order to survive.” Students will appreciate Honey Badger’s candid personality, and with his Daryl Dixon like mentality Georgetown is certain to face any impending zombie apocalypses with ease.
Many know Grumpy Cat as the face that launched a million memes capitalizing on her sour disposition. Students can expect to never see this candidate smile. She’s a realist who doesn’t see the point in sugar coating her beliefs and has no problem telling you how she really feels. Grumpy Cat believes this attribute will take her far as GC’s next president. When asked how she felt about this year’s small freshmen class, Grumpy Cat simply responded, “Good.” When pressed about her views on the poor financial state of the college, she replied, “Does it look like I care?”

Some may feel as though her blunt disposition would hinder her ability to promote GC to potential students. However, the plus side with Grumpy Cat is that what you see is what you get. Students can expect to never be let down by false promises she never intended to keep.

Honey Boo Boo, the six-year-old TLC TV sensation, is also hoping to obtain Georgetown’s presidency. Although some may believe her young age would hinder her ability to lead Georgetown effectively, Honey Boo Boo claims that her experience in the pageant world will equip her to lead Georgetown with ease. Honey Boo Boo also claims that as GC’s president the college will save money. Originally from a small southern town in Georgia, Honey Boo Boo has led a quaint life with her family, and therefore, will not require the expensive upkeep typical of other college presidents.

Georgetown students who are interested in learning more about the presidential candidates should come to the chapel this Thursday at 11 p.m. for a “Meet and Greet” event worth Nexus/CEP credit. The candidates will host a question and answer forum and students are encouraged to stop by.

Disclaimer: April Fool’s!