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Squirrel Tales

GC students share their experiences with the multitude of squirrels that roam this campus.

By CAITLIN KNOX
Editor-in-Chief

Source: Google Images  Squirrels warn students to hide their Easter candy, or it may end up in a nearby tree.

Source: Google Images
Squirrels warn students to hide their Easter candy, or it may end up in a nearby tree.

Squirrels are a common sight on any college campus, but it seems as though Georgetown has a little more than most.
Rumor has it that the college orders squirrels from Canada because they are friendlier in that area, and this gives the campus a warmer, more welcoming feel. They give lonely students someone to talk to, mischievous students something to throw things at and pessimistic students something to complain about.

These squirrels also double as our garbage disposals; making sure our Caf meals and other leftovers are stored away in the campus trees.  Georgetown squirrels tend to favor McDonald’s and Chipotle over Little Caesar’s and Grille food. They seem to have similar tastes to GC students– bold squirrels have been known to steal whole meals!

Georgetown squirrels  represent the Superman of all other college squirrels due to their supernatural strength. They can carry food and other items that are twice their weight. Their Kryptonite? Trash cans. On any given day, you can find a shaking trash can, with a GC squirrel caught in it’s death grip.

One squirrel was so popular on campus that he decided to make his own Twitter account: Georgetown Squirrel @ghetto_squirrel. He now has 397 followers, and in the past he has tweeted things like “‘I really want to lose 3 ounces…’ #MeanSquirrels” and “These students are complaining about the caf food while im out here munching on dried nuts #ungratefulpeople.”

There has been speculation about how this squirrel connected to GC Wifi from the inside of a tree, but who knows? Maybe we could pick up a few hints from Georgetown squirrels.

What we do know is that every Georgetown student has a squirrel story. . .

Back when I was there, I saw a squirrel go to a crosswalk in front of Anderson, and call out for his friend. They both waited for cars, and then crossed on the crosswalk safely. I was impressed.  There was another time when I saw a squirrel with a whole happy meal.  -Meghan Pate

I usually refer to myself as a human garbage disposal because I’m not very picky and there aren’t many things I won’t eat. Well, let me tell you; the same thing goes for the squirrels on campus. I have seen a squirrel attempt to drag an entire apple across a parking lot and another eating a chicken wing off the bone while perched on a tree stump. The other day I saw one halfway into a McDonald’s bag. -Meghan Alessi

I was walking next to the Chapel and saw a pretty well sized hawk fly into the big tree between Phi Mu and the Chapel.  After about five seconds it swooped down into the middle of the mini-quad between the Student Center, Chapel and Pawling, grabbed a squirrel, and flew off. The squirrel hasn’t been seen since.  -Cameron Nixon

There is one currently living in our basement… They have tried to remove it and cannot.  -Loren Sheffield

One day in Knight Hall I heard an electrical popping sound. Later, I passed an electrical box and saw a fried squirrel lying stiffly on the ground. The unlucky rodent had been a little too curious. -Leanndra Padgett

In English class during a windstorm last year, a poor squirrel running across the telephone lines blew off.                   -Lynsey Jordan

They just stop and stare at me. -Brittany Patterson

I stepped on a squirrel once! They have no fear! It must have ran right for my feet because I looked down and its tail was under my shoe. I’m surprised it didn’t bite me. -Celisa Bowen

I graduated in 1976. I remember the squirrels throwing things, probably nuts, at us when we sat under the trees.  -Darla Gatchell Turner

So there I was on campus. I just had salad bar crackers and Mountain Dew for lunch again because there was literally nothing to eat (I am known in my homeland as the world’s pickiest eater). And then I see a rattling trash can.

Alarmed I jump! What beast or demon has possessed the Robert L. Mills’ Resident’s Park (quad) trash can? I arm myself in a Power Rangers pose (particularly modeled after the “Billy Cranston” or “Blue Ranger” martial arts stance from the hit television series “Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers”) And out leaps the spawn of Satan, Prince of Darkness, and Sin, his incestuous Queen!

Actually, it was just a squirrel. But that squirrel held in its paw golden and silver foil, shining in the early afternoon light. And in that foil! Oh what a treasure! There was around 1/8th of a discarded Chipotle burrito, left behind by some ungrateful fool.

The beast scuttled away carrying its prize and dropping a few bits of lettuce and rice on the way up a tree (what strength he demonstrated– that burrito was probably a fourth of his weight!).

And then I, dismayed, realized that squirrel had eaten better than I had all day.
-Jonathan Balmer