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Turducken: respect the Frankenstein of holiday foodstuffs

Staff Writer

When it comes to Christmas and Thanksgiving dinner staples, there is one that surpasses them all. Forget mashed potatoes, forget ham and forget plain old stuffing. The ultimate holiday dish is Turducken. In case you have never heard of this incredible phenomenon, it is a chicken inside of a duck inside of a turkey.

Although it sounds impossible, turducken is indeed a real thing. Why would you ever use boring cornbread stuffing inside your turkey when you can stuff it with more and different kinds of meat? If you haven’t already been convinced that you cannot go another holiday without cooking turducken, I have five reasons:

1.  Protein is healthier than carbs, especially when you are on a low-carb diet, which, let’s be honest, probably a lot of people want to be on after the holidays. Therefore, meat is healthier than stuffing.

2. It has a really clever name cobbled together from the names of the three birds that make it up. It is so fun to say, and if you make it, you have an excuse to say it more.

3. It probably tastes awesome. Particularly if you like meat.

4. And if you don’t like meat, they make a vegetarian version out of tofu, the name of which I would probably get in trouble for writing in the paper.

5.  (This is for all you British fans out there) This dish has a fancy name in England: “Royal Roast.” Don’t you want to eat like royalty?

There you have it folks. Turducken is healthier for you, it’s cleverly named, delicious and classy.  Making turducken this holiday season could very well save you a heart attack in the future while simultaneously making you look classy.
You’re welcome.